She Said Yes

how to control your emotions {25 Scriptures to Help Fight off the Lies}

So far in our series on learning to control our emotions we've covered the following topics: Controlling your emotions {when they're out of control}

Overcoming lies with the truth

Why you can keep your emotions in check

Want the whole series, plus more, in one place? How to Control Your Emotions So They Don't Control You

Because this series was so popular, I expanded it into an ebook called How to Control Your Emotions, So They Don't Control You.

For just $4.99 on Kindle, or as a PDF ebook, you can get this practical, highly biblical guide to submitting your emotions to the cross of Christ, and experiencing victory over your feelings!

Get your copy here, including a beautiful, downloadable copy of the 25 scriptures below!

25 Scriptures to Help Fight Off the Lies

We've walked our way through a lot of head knowledge, but as they say, at some point the rubber has to meet the road. The following 25 scriptures are just that—tools for helping you put your faith into practice.

They're not meant to be bandaids, and they're not quick fixes for deep problems. I struggled for years with fear. Every night I went to bed quoting scriptures on fear, but nothing ever helped until I settled the root of my problem: I didn't trust God. If you're struggling deeply with emotions that are out-of-control, I encourage you to take the time necessary to get at the root. What's really the heart of your problem? Only time spent with God, and a willingness to dig deep can offer the answer. But these verses can help.

learning to control our emotions

1. When you feel scared, choose to believe He's in control

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1

2. When you feel weary, choose to believe He's good

For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations. Psalm 100:5

3. When you feel alone, choose to believe He'll never leave you

It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8

4. When you feel unseen, choose to believe He knows your needs

Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the LORD, who had spoken to her. She said, "You are the God who sees me." She also said, "Have I truly seen the One who sees me?" Genesis 16:13 NLT

5. When you feel unheard, choose to believe that He's listening

Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath! Psalm 116:2 NLT

6. When you feel hopeless, choose to be confident in God's ability to win the day

Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident. Psalm 27:3

7. When you feel depressed, look for ways God loves you. Remember that each day brings a new display of His mercies.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

8. When you feel worthless, choose to believe that you are of great worth to God

Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings... Psalm 17:8

9. When you feel unloved, choose to believe that God's love for you never goes away

I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Jeremiah 31:3

10. When you feel misunderstood, choose to believe that Jesus understands exactly what you're going through

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Hebrews 4:15

11. When you feel abused, choose to believe that God is on your side*

The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent. Exodus 14:14

12. When you feel brokenhearted, choose to believe that God has the power and desire to heal

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

13. When you feel desperate, choose to remember where your strength comes from

GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places. Habakkuk 3:19

14. When you feel like nothing will ever change, choose to remember all the things God has done for you in the past, and believe He will do them again

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13 NKJV

15. When you feel lost, choose to turn your eyes back to Jesus and His Word

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:6

16. When you feel crushed in spirit, choose to believe God is close by

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

17. When you feel overwhelmed, choose to spend time in the presence of God, remembering all He has promised you

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23

18. When you feel like you're losing your mind, choose to call out to the Lord for help

But you, O LORD, do not be far off! O you my help, come quickly to my aid! Psalm 22:19

19. When you feel hurt, choose to believe the Lord is there to help and shield you

We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33:20-22

20. When you feel like giving up, remind yourself of how to take one more step

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. Ephesians 6:10-11

21. When you feel confused, choose to believe God has a plan

For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. 1 Corinthians 14:33

22. When you feel lost, remember that Jesus left everything to come find you

What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? Matthew 18:12

23. When you feel attacked, choose to believe that God is all you need, His approval your only goal

I cry to you, O LORD; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living. Psalm 142:5

24. When you feel nothing, choose to praise anyway, believing that your emotions will follow

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Philippians 4:4

25. When you feel angry, choose to remember where your hope comes from

I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called--his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. Ephesians 1:18 NLT

Friends, I'm praying that this little series on learning to control our emotions has been as helpful for you as fleshing it out has been for me. This lesson has been simmering in my heart for a long time, and it feels good to have finally gotten it out on paper. If you have any follow-up questions, or would like to add in a few scriptures of your own to today's list, please feel free to share in the comments.

*On the topic of abuse, my choice of scripture is not an attempt to get you to stay in an abusive situation or be quiet if you see someone else being abused. Rather, it is simply to reinforce the truth that God is fighting for you every step of the way. You can trust that as you step out in faith, remove yourself from harm's way, and seek help.

Don't forget to grab your copy of How to Control Your Emotions, So They Don't Control You for just $4.99 today!

how to control your emotions {why you CAN keep your emotions in check}

Don't miss the first two posts in this series on learning to control our emotions!

When They're Out of Control

Overcoming Lies with Truth

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Why you CAN keep your emotions in check!

You know those carts at the grocery store that have fancy cars on the front with horns that honk and lights that flash? The ones that are supposed to make your children squeal with delight and help your trip to the store run a bit more smoothly?

I hate them.

Yes, I know hate is a strong word, but I really do hate them. Five times I asked him to get his head back in the cart where it belonged. Five. And five times that shaggy-headed little one stuck it back out and made faces at me while I scowled at him and most likely everyone else around me in the store. I zoomed up and down the isles throwing things in that dreaded car buggy thing so fast people felt my breeze as I went by.

Later, as we drove home, I meted out punishment to the offender—five times writing from 0-100, one for each act of disobedience—and listened to him explode in a teary tirade. A few miles in and he was still sniffling, but the screams had diminished and I felt my opportunity to make sense of the horrible trip had finally come. Here's snapshot of our dialog that day:

The Power of Heaven

learning to control our emotions

"Son, do you remember when God raised Jesus from the dead?"

"Uh-huh."

"How strong do you think God had to be to make that happen?"

"Pretty strong."

"Do you think He had to use a lot of power?"

"Uh-huh."

"You're right, He did. Let me ask you this, son...is it hard to obey?"

"Uh-huh."

"It is, isn't it? I struggle to obey God a lot of the time myself. In fact, did you know you can't really obey God OR mommy by yourself?"

"Uh-huh."

"That's right. No matter how hard you try, you'll never obey perfectly. That's why Jesus had to die. You know all that. But what you might not know, is that God raising Jesus from the dead is just as important as Jesus dying. You know why?"

"Nope..."

"Well, here's why: When we give our hearts to Jesus, tell Him He has the right to our lives, and decide to follow Him, we become children of God. And once we're children of God, we have access to that same big, mighty power of God that raised Jesus from the dead! Know why that's cool?

"Uh-uh"

"It's cool because it makes up for what you can't do on your own! You can't obey on your own. But with God's strength and mighty power working on your behalf, you can. All you have to do is ask."

Sometimes I think we just don't realize what we have access to when we become children of God.

"If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you." Romans 8:11 (ESV)

Think you can't choose to believe God's truth about your situation in the midst of heated emotions? Think again.

God's Word says you can. All you have to do is ask for help. And when you make the choice to pause, force your eyes away from your circumstances, and onto Christ, He'll come running with all the power of heaven...that same big, mighty power that raised Jesus from the dead...to help you.

I'm not saying it'll be easy. I've flubbed up opportunities to use the power that's mine in Christ too many times to count. But I've also succeeded a few times. And the taste of victory is sweet enough to make me want to overcome my emotions all the time. Here are a few brief pointers if you're just starting out.

1. Take baby steps.

If you're really struggling with your emotions right now, pray every single day, before your feet hit the floor in the morning and before you fall asleep at night (and let's face it, probably every second of every day) that God will help you recognize the opportunity to take hold of the power to choose well He offers you through Christ.

2. Get in the Word.

Somehow, spending time in God's Word helps us hear His voice more clearly. There's nothing like the conviction of the Holy Spirit at just the right time to keep us from going over the edge. Believe me, I need it like I need a Coke on a bad day.

3. Ask your family, friends, and loved ones to keep you accountable.

My husband and I are doing this for each other right now. He just spent three months off of work after a shoulder surgery right before Christmas, and being together 24/7 really helped us see the worst in each other. I'm glad. Ask someone close to you to call you out when they see your emotions going unchecked.

4. Pray.

I know I already mentioned that, but it's worth repeating. If you need help knowing what to pray, follow the steps in this simple outline for creating and crafting a Scripture-based prayer. It's written as an exercise for moms and their sons, but the process will work for anyone.

Tuesday, I'm going to finish up this little series on learning to overcome our emotions. It'll be my piece de resistance so don't miss it. I'll be giving you practical tools in your arsenal and calling it 25 Scriptures to help fight off the lies! With God's help, and all the power of heaven, we can do this friends. Let's not give up just yet!

Until then, Happy Easter!

Come hear me on the radio today (3/28/13) at 4PM EST!

Don't miss it friends! Stacey Thacker and I are being interviewed today at 4PM EST/3 CST by one of our favorite authors, Tricia Goyer. Join us for Tricia's Living Inspired Radio show as we talk a little about Hope for the Weary Mom! Screen shot 2013-03-26 at 2.42.13 PM

And come back tomorrow for another shot at learning to control our emotions! We'll be talking about where the power comes from to overcome.

when they're out of control

how to control your emotions {overcoming lies with the truth}

Monday we talked about some hard choices that have to be made if we want to learn to control our emotions (instead of the other way around). I started out by asking you to answer some questions about your foundations for life, and promised that today, we'd learn just how to overcome lies with the truth. Here we go.

Overcoming lies with the truth

learning to control our emotions

That day last week, as I sat in my driveway feeling my emotions go from 0 to 10 in a matter of seconds, I realized that I had taken my eyes off of Jesus, and the truths of God's Word, and put them on what I could see and feel in that moment—two little boys giving me a run for my money, disobedience, challenge, and failure.

Most of all, I saw a mom who couldn't control her kids, and I felt totally incompetent. Lies.

The truth of the matter is that not every day of my life is like this. Sometimes my boys do obey. Sometimes they don't challenge me to my whit's end, and sometimes I end my day feeling good, capable, and like I loved them well. But in that moment, none of that mattered. My feelings escalated based on the reality of what I was currently seeing, and it took the Word of God to bring a new reality.

A new reality

In Romans 8:6 it says this (ESV):

"For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace."

It's easy for me to see now that this verse describes exactly what I did and have done in countless other moments just like the one we've been discussing. I set my mind on something other than Jesus and His never-changing truths. And that, my friends, leads to hopelessness, depression, and the death of our ability to overcome our emotions.

Thankfully, the truth was waiting for me just around the corner. With God's help, I was able to step outside of my current circumstances and remember what His Word says about me and my children.

But how?

It was a choice—a simple truth, but difficult application—to see the situation through the lens of God's Word. Setting my mind on the Spirit—that gift of God that is able to work in me making me more like Jesus—brought back my peace, and helped me see God's reality instead of my own.

  • These children aren't all bad. This was just one bad day sandwiched between two pretty good ones.
  • I'm starting to see a repentent heart in my older son, leading me to believe that the decision he says he's made for Christ might be real.
  • God has my best at heart, and theirs too.
  • He's always working in us for His good pleasure.
  • He sees us, hears us, and loves us more than we could ever love ourselves.
  • He's just waiting to give us all the good gifts that are ours because of His work on the cross.
  • We're safe in His embrace.

Really what I want you to understand friends, is that what we can see and feel are often entirely different from God's reality—the true reality.

learning to control our emotions
Not the most popular way to look at life these days, I know. But if you've made the decision to believe God's Word is true, study it so you can apply it to your life, and want to choose to say yes to it no matter the cost, your reality is based on something different than most other people in the world. It'll make you stick out like a sore thumb, but it'll also change your life, giving you the power to overcome.

And speaking of the power to overcome

Some of you are thinking to yourselves right now, "well that's all fine and dandy, Brooke. But when I'm in the heat of the moment, I get so blinded by my emotions that I'm not sure I'll even think about making a choice to believe God over my feelings."

We'll talk about that a little bit Friday.

Question: What situations quickly cause your emotions to escalate so that you have trouble remembering the truth of God's Word?

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Tomorrow, please join Stacey Thacker and me on Tricia Goyer's Living Inspired Radio show! We'll be talking about Hope for the Weary Mom at 4PM EST/3PM CST.

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how to control your emotions {when they're out of control}

A friend asked me the other day how I'm able to keep my feelings from running my life. My answer? I don't always. But I'm learning.

From 0 to 10

I had a bad afternoon with the boys last week. A rather long day filled with disobedience and hard hearts left me feeling disillusioned, and as I sat in my driveway watching them play basketball I literally felt my emotions start to run away.

I started off embarrassed by their behavior. Then I got mad because it was what seemed like the millionth time I had asked them to obey with no apparent response. Anger moved into frustration because sometimes it just feels like nothing ever changes around here. Frustration led to a feeling of being completely overwhelmed at my own lack of ability to change their hearts. And finally, feeling overwhelmed moved to straight hopelessness and a desire to just. give. up.

when they're out of control

In a matter of about two minutes I went from 0 to 10 on the emoto-to-meter (you know, the one that measures when mama's going to snap??) and ended the day feeling like a total failure as a mom. Ever been there?

Even if you're not a mom, my guess is that you've experienced something similar to what I'm talking about. Maybe your boss made a snide remark at work that made you think he didn't like you. And of course, we all know that if your boss doesn't like you, you'll never get a promotion. And if you never get a promotion, you'll never make more money. And if you never make more money, you'll never be able to afford that new car your family desperately needs, PLUS all that time and money spent on your education will just go right down the tubes. Maybe you should just quit now before he fires you?

See how it works?

Can you change the way you feel??

Women have been saying for years that we can't change how we feel. We get mad when people (OK especially men) tell us how to feel, or make us believe we don't have a right to feel the way we want to. We've fought hard to make our voices heard and our opinions count, so learning that our emotions don't have to control us can be a bitter pill to swallow. Frankly, it's one I still struggle with.

I'm not trying to say that our emotions and feelings are always wrong, but they certainly can be. God gave us emotions as a barometer—they tell us both what's happening in our hearts and in our surroundings. Sometimes, they're right on the money. But more often than not, they need to come under the authority of the Word of God.

Even if we do have a right to our own feelings,we don't have to submit to them or let them control us. With God's help, we can change the way we feel. But it requires a choice, and before we go any further, you have to make yours.

1. Do you believe the Word of God is true?

If you do, it's your basis for living and foundation of truth. It's where you go to understand the world, and the place you turn to when it doesn't make sense.

2. Will you study the Bible, taking the time to understand what it says?

If not, the Bible may never be anything more to you than a bag of tricks. God's Word isn't a magic trick or a wiggly nose (anyone not know what I'm talking about there??), it's a solid rock upon which to build your life. Spending time getting to know the God who wrote it is the difference between it just being a classic book, and a book having the power to radically change your life.

3. Will you choose to believe what the Bible says is true, even when what you see and feel screams something different?

Here's the key: Forcing your emotions and feelings to get in line requires the sometimes hard choice to say no to them, and yes to what the Bible says. It's a simple truth, but difficult application, and sometimes it will require every ounce of self-control you can muster. That's why it's so important to have the other two questions above settled in your mind and heart before even trying.

Once you've answered these questions, you're ready to move on and learn how to control your feelings by replacing the lies with the truth. We'll do that Wednesday.

Question: Do you believe you can change the way you feel? Why, or why not?

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Find the rest of the posts in this series here:

Overcoming Lies with Truth

Why you CAN keep your emotions in check

25 Scriptures to help fight off the lies