Dear Weary Mom, The other day something super stressful happened at the McGlothlin Home for Boys. And in the midst of it all, my husband looked at me with exasperation in his eyes and said, "Why are you not more upset??"
"I am! But if I let my emotions take over and lose control, I'll lose control of the whole house! I have two little boys upstairs who need to be educated, and it's hard enough to keep them on task when I'm in a good mood! I'll never be able to hold everything together if I let myself get upset over this. If I lose it, they lose it. And I can't afford for that to happen!"
Have you ever felt like you were the glue holding it all together?
That one wrong turn on your part would send your world careening into oblivion? What happens when the glue dries up and the whole blamed thing falls apart? That's what I felt in that moment. The weight of my responsibility for just keeping things going, setting the tone for the home, and trusting God to take care of our needs threatened to come crashing down on me if I let myself get upset over our little crisis.
My husband nodded his head, kissed me, and left to go run seven miles in a local Torch Run for the Special Olympics. I cleaned the kitchen up from breakfast, and felt the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit nudge me to pray. And by some small miracle, the boys played nicely together in their bedroom for over 20 minutes, allowing me to get fully down on my knees and kneel beside our bed.
I poured out my heart to God, asked Him for a miracle, begged Him to move...and this is what I heard in return...
You aren't the glue, I AM.
"And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17 ESV"
Somehow, just knowing that I'm actually not responsible for holding everything together, makes it all better. It was as if God reached down and put a "cosmic Creator of the universe" band-aid on my little boy mom booboo. The tears dried up, my heart was encouraged, and I left the room with my head held high like the daughter of a King should hold her head.
I remembered who I was, and Whose I was. I remembered that He owns the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:10), and that He'll supply everything I need according to His riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). I remember that He knows the number of hairs on my head (Luke 12:7), and that I'm the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8).
So remember too, weary mom, that you're not the glue. Let that truth wash over you right now, and release the weight you've been carrying trying to hold it all together.
He's got you covered.
I'm linking up with the Dear Weary Mom, link-up at the Hope for the Weary Mom blog. Looking for encouragement? This is your tribe.